Well I don’t think I’ve ever been more wrong about a game then I was about the Dolphins Redskins game last week. I picked the over in the hopes that betting it would make it watchable. Well it turns out, nothing could have made that game watchable. Both teams are fucking awful! It was scoreless after the 1st and at that point I knew it was over and I never turned it on again.
The other games were all pretty much over as soon as they started. The Eagles have the worst secondary in the history of fucking football, the Saints are a real good team, and I could run for 100 yards against the dogshit Chiefs defense. I did however, nail the Jets on the moneyline to salvage my weekend! So there’s that…and I am also starting a segment at the bottom of this called the Easy Money Moneyline Parlay. I will pick at least 3 teams who will all win outright and make you some money in the process.
Overall ATS: 9-11
Overall O/U: 2-5
Los Angeles Rams -3 @ Atlanta Falcons
What the fuck is going on with the Rams this year? The defense looks like ass, the OL is garbage, and Goff has not played close to the level he played at last year. I don’t think it lasts though. This team has too much talent along with one of the greatest minds in football coaching them to continue sucking. All they needed was a defense like the Falcons to fix them. Look at the Texans: offense looks like shit for 4 weeks; they play the Falcons and drop a 50 burger; they beat the Chiefs the next week. Goff is going to have a huge game and the Rams are getting back on track today!
Pick: Rams -3
Los Angeles Chargers @ Tennessee Titans -2.5
Did everyone watch the Titans last week? They got shutout in Denver, Mariota got pulled, and now he is benched this week as well. This offense is no fucking good and I’ve been saying from day 1 that Mariota blows. Well I have bad news for Titan fans: Ryan Tannehill is absolutely not the guy either. If you’re not good enough to play for the Dolphins, how can you be good enough to start for any other team?! The Chargers on the other hand need to get their shit together because their window just opened up and it will only be open for 4-5 weeks. They need to win every game they can while Mahomes is out or they are fucking done. I have not quit the Chargers yet because I have seen them start like this and turn it around.
Pick: Chargers +2.5
Baltimore Ravens @ Seattle Seahawks -3
Chris Carson is 5th in the league in rushing yards and has gone for over 100 in 3 straight games. This week though, will be all about Russell Wilson. The Ravens are 25th in the league in passing yards allowed and Russell Wilson is having an MVP type season. I am still not sold on the Ravens yet though. Especially this week when you consider that the Seahawks have played a QB similar to Jackson when they faced Kyler Murray 3 weeks ago. They were able to contain Murray with their speed on the edge and I expect them to do the same thing today. Look for a big game from a guy like Clowney as he chases Lamar around all day today.
Pick: Seahawks -3
Miami Dolphins @ Buffalo Bills O/U 41
As much as I do not believe in the Bills as a complete team this year, their defense is fucking insane. Combine that with the fact that the Dolphins offense is dogshit and they are actively trying to lose games and you have a scenario in which the Dolphins don’t even get past midfield in this one. The Bills on the other hand just don’t have enough playmakers to truly blow anyone out. This will probably be an ugly score like 19-0 or something like that.
Pick: Under 41
Houston Texans @ Indianapolis Colts O/U 47
This one stuck out to me even more than the Bills-Dolphins game! This game is not short of playmakers on offense. You have Watson, Hopkins, Fuller, Mack, Hilton, and Brissett. In a crucial divisional matchup I expect both offenses to be at their best this week. The two teams combined average 50 PPG and with the Texans coming off a huge win and the Colts coming off a bye I am fully expecting huge performances from all the playmakers.
Pick: Over 47
There you have it folks. I am sure these picks are loaded with bad beats, but that’s how the cookie fucking crumbles sometimes. Even with a record below .500 I am actually up in terms of units thanks to the ML play last week and at the bottom of my single picks every week I will post a ML parlay that I am sure will pay out regardless of the odds.
First Ever Easy Money Moneyline Parlay-Week 7
Packers over Raiders
Seahawks over Ravens
Chargers over Titans
Bills over Dolphins
This will pay out right at 4.5 to 1 so get a couple units in and quadruple your money real quick!